Monday, September 15, 2008

Palinguage

Here are some of my favorite "Palinguage" vocabulary definitions. For more go here.

If you’re a minority and you’re selected for a job over more qualified candidates you’re a “token hire.”
If you’re a conservative and you’re selected for a job over more qualified candidates you’re a “game changer.”

If you live in an Urban area and you get a girl pregnant you’re a “baby daddy.”
If you’re the same in Alaska you’re a “teen father.”

Black teen pregnancies? A “crisis” in black America.
White teen pregnancies? A “blessed event.”

If you grow up in Hawaii you’re “exotic.”
Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you’re the quintessential “American story.”

Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you’re “unpatriotic.”
Name your kid Track, you’re “colorful.”

If you’re a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fulling vetting the individual you’re “reckless.”
A Republican who doesn’t fully vet is a “maverick.”

If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "arrogant celebrity."
If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the base."

If you manage a multi-million dollar nation-wide campaign you are an "empty suit."
If you are part-time mayor of town of 9000 people, you are an "experienced executive."

If you go to a Southside Chicago church your beliefs are "extremist."
If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man-made you are "strongly principled."

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month you are a "Christian."
If you've been married to the same woman for nineteen years raising two beautiful children, you are "risky."

If you say that for the “first time in my adult lifetime I’m really proud of my country” it makes you “unfit” to be First Lady.
If you are a registered member of a fringe political group that advocates secession that makes you “First Dude.”

If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national presidential primary, you’re a “phoney.”
Get 100,000+ people to vote you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you’re “well loved.”

If you give your wife a dap on stage, it’s actually a “terrorist fist jab.”
If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child’s hair on national TV it’s an “adorable moment.”

If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme of “Change,” it’s just “empty rhetoric.”
If one week before your party’s national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about “Change,” that’s “red meat.”

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